Oct 27, 2011

Q & A - How Do I Win Her Back?

Q. Dear Alannah,

My reason for contacting you today is because I'm in need of your expert advice.  I've checked almost all of your videos and I have to say that I am really impressed with what you had to say, especially when it comes to women.

You see my problem is that the girl I love recently left me because she said that she is no longer attracted to me.  She told me that she no longer sees me in a romantic light.  I think that this has to do with me working far away from her for weeks at a time.  Other than that I did not see any other problem in the relationship.  I believe she is currently seeing other guys, but I don't think that anything is going on...yet.  I think I still have a chance to win her back.  But, I need your help.  We broke up about two weeks ago, but during the break up she broke off all communications with me.  I couldn't call, text, or email her at all.  As of yesterday she finally decided to call me and said that she would like to be my friend so that she could take care of me.  My question for you is at this stage, should I give up all hope or should I fight to win her back?  If I should fight for her then would asking her out this early ruin the chances for me?  I've been thinking about giving her a call, but am afraid that she might say she's busy or something.  What do I need to do to get her attracted to me again?  I'm so confused!

Sincerely,

Sam

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Oct 8, 2011

How to Tease A Woman and Give Effective Backhanded Compliments

You may have heard it time and again, but there's nothing quite like teasing and using backhanded compliments to get a woman's attention.  From the moves I've heard many guys pulling, however, there seems to be some "confusion" as to what an effective backhanded compliment should look and sound like.  Read on to learn how to effectively tease and flirt with a woman to blow her mind!

1) Do not be meanspirited.  This is probably one of the most important rules when teasing a woman and giving a backhanded compliment (BHC), and that is that not only will your move backfire if you insult her by saying something mean and turn her off, but she'll also see you as a bully and will probably stay away from you.  For your teasing jabs (TJ) and BHC's to work, there has to be a balance of humor and honesty, and they should not target something she can't change. (For instance, teasing her for her crazy hairstyle is okay; calling her a runt because of her height is not.)

2) No emo undertones. The point of TJ's and BHC's are to show-off your humor and to show that you aren't afraid to "insult" her, therefore displaying confidence and a lack of intimidation. If you use a comment that has emo undertones, however, it'll make you seem insecure or afraid that you won't measure up, and it defeats the purpose of the comment in the first place.

For instance, a good backhanded compliment will often position you as "superior" to her somehow, in a humorous way so that your comment comes across as confident and funny, rather than arrogant. Either that, or it will "insult" her in a funny way (that's not meanspirited).  It does not position you as below her in any way that makes it seem like you don't think you can measure up. Some examples are below:

Good: "Love your haircut -- it looked better on Rod Stewart!"

Bad: "Thanks for finally responding to my email -- you have the memory of my grandmother!"

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