Jul 30, 2011

Q & A - At the End of the Line

Q. Dear Alannah,

How do you do?  I don't know if you remember me, but I came to you for advice about the beginning of last year for advice about a guy I had a crush on in college at the time.  I asked for advice on how I could get him to notice me and so on.  Well, your advice worked wonderfully and we have been dating since then.  But once again, I'm in need of your help. 

Lately, I feel as though the connection between us from the beginning of the relationship until now has not been the same.  We argue a lot lately, and sometimes it gets worse.  My biggest problem with him is that games, such as the PS3 and card games, seem to be the only thing that his world revolves around lately, and sometimes I feel as though I somewhat don't exist to him. After being with him for over a year, it's been getting quite annoying.  Nothing is wrong with a guy having fun, playing games or whatever he does, once he knows his girlfriend is still one of his priorities in his life.  But, he never stops.  He always spends 3/4 of his salary on games, and when I talk to him about it, it turns into a battle.  Not to mention talking to him about anything these days, especially saying, "I love you"; it seems so robotic when he says it now and with no heart. 

All I want is simply someone who can make me feel comfortable and give me some attention at least; I can't remember the last time he told me I looked beautiful or really gave me much affection.  I can't be the one always running him down to tell or correct him about the way he treats me all the time.  And don't even talk about his temper; I don't know what to do anymore.  Am I wasting my time?  Please help!


Exasperated Girlfriend


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Jul 19, 2011

Why Confidence Is Important In A Man

Everyone knows that confidence is one of the sexiest traits a man can have...nothing is more appealing than being with someone who believes in him/herself and knows their own self-worth.  But, did you know that a lack of confidence can actually be detrimental to a relationship, especially when the man in the relationship is lacking it? (Lack of confidence in women affects relationships in different ways, usually in the form of insecurity, jealousy, and/or possessiveness, and that can also be detrimental, but that will be discussed at another time.)

Ladies, if your man (or the one you're eyeing) doesn't have at least a modest amount of confidence in himself and is always second-guessing himself and his abilities, watch out!  There may be a problem on down the line.  Read on to see why confidence is one of the most important qualities a man can have!

1) Confidence is sexy. It goes without saying that a woman will prefer a confident guy over one who's always down-in-the-dumps and underestimating himself any day. A guy who knows his self-worth and isn't afraid to go after what he wants is sexy.  It doesn't matter how rich, hot, or smart he is; if he isn't confident, then all of the other things lose much of their appeal; confidence is that quality that gives that extra "Ooomph!" to someone's personality and makes you want to get to know them better.

2) When a man isn't confident, it affects all areas of his life, especially his relationships.  No matter how awesome a catch you are, a man who is lacking true confidence will often be unable to appreciate it; he most likely won't have the balls to pursue you and will have a difficult time appreciating you for all that you bring to the table (hence the existence of SDS).  True confidence differs from brazen cockiness (for example, Jersey Shore-style chest-thumping and posturing); true confidence is a guy who isn't afraid to ask you out on a date, but doesn't think any less of himself if you happen to say, "No." True confidence is a guy who knows how to treat a woman right, and expects the same in return from the one he dates. True confidence is a guy who knows what he wants and deserves, and won't settle for anything less.


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