Mar 31, 2011

Taboo Dating Topics You've Always Wanted to Know

There are some dating topics that many people wonder about but never ask.  For instance, is it ok to use a coupon on a first date?  When can you ask your guy or girl's "number" in bed?  Should you even do it?  Below, the most common dating taboos and how you should handle them!

1) Is it okay to use a coupon on a first date?  Being thrifty is definitely smart, and in this economy, is something you should probably look for in a mate.  However, first dates are typically not the place to show that off.  Granted, if you're on a budget, you probably shouldn't take your date out to a 5 star steakhouse for your first date, or anywhere that's too over-the-top for that matter.  The best first dates are the ones where both people can relax, have fun, and get to know each other, so go to a low-key place that you know is within your budget.  Once you've been dating for awhile (about at least the 4th or 5th date in), then things should be comfortable enough to where using a coupon shouldn't be a problem. 

2) Should you ever ask your guy/girl how many people they've been with, and when is this okay? This is one of those uncomfortable questions that people usually don't want to answer, but always want to know (whether or not they like the answer they get is another story!).  Some couples never discuss this, while others have no problem talking about it.  I definitely don't think this is something that cannot be discussed, but it should not - I repeat, should not - be discussed on a first date.  Putting aside the potential awkwardness in broaching the topic so early on ("So, where did you grow up? Also, how many people have you slept with?"), this is a question that can lead down ugly roads.  Until you have that trust factor established with someone and have come to see them as more than just a hot stranger you'd like to get to know (and do other things with!), this is a topic you should try to avoid, until you know hearing an unfavorable answer won't drastically change your opinion of them.

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Mar 15, 2011

Food for Thought: Does Passion Equal Drama?

Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook
Most people have grown up believing that passion is what is seen in the movies and heard about in epic love stories...passion is Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, Cleopatra and Marc Antony, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.  Passion is the crazy ups and downs in a relationship, not being able to get enough of one person...loving them, hating them, being filled with seemingly uncontrollable desires and overwhelming emotions.  It is exciting, yet also chaotic.  Does this mean that in order for there to be passion, there also has to be a certain amount of drama in a relationship?  Are relationships that have great, fiery passion not always meant to last?

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Mar 8, 2011

Q & A - Relationships and Confidence Issues

Q. Dear Alannah,

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 11 months and I admit...I get jealous when his ex-girlfriend messages him on Facebook or texts him.  I know I shouldn't be, but I do get insecure. I have a problem with my confidence.  He doesn't do anything to bring my confidence down.  He actually doesn't text or message his ex back, because he knows I would get upset.  I feel so guilty for feeling like I want him to be jealous of my ex, too...I'm not sure why I feel like this, but I can't stop feeling this way.  What should I do to be more confident?

Sincerely,

Anna

A. Dear Anna,

Sorry to hear about your current situation!  I remember you writing in to me when you and your boyfriend first got together last year, and I am glad to hear that your relationship has been coming along fairly stably since then.  As for your current situation, it's good that you realize that the problem isn't with how he feels about you, but has more to do with your own confidence level.

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