Dec 31, 2010

New Year's Dating Resolutions

It's about that time again to start thinking ahead for the new year...one of the most exciting things about ringing in a new year is the fact that it's an opportunity to start all over, have a fresh new start.  New Year's resolutions abound, and self-improvement is on everyone's mind.  This New Year's, try following the dating resolutions below, and you'll soon be on your way to a bangin' new love life! ;)

1) If you're single, throw away your "list".  You know the one - everyone has one.  "He must be 6'2'', a doctor or lawyer, witty, hot, funny, and with charm to spare," or "She must be a 10, love sports, cooking, cleaning, and know how to light up a room."  Most of the time, the people we end up with are almost completely different from what we have on that list, anyway, so chucking it is the first step to rejuvenating your love life and meeting someone new.  Keep an open mind, and you never know - Mr. Right may have been right in front of you all this time (standing in line at Starbucks in his "never in a million years would I date a surfer" attire!).

2) Never let your world revolve around one person.  This is a recipe for disaster, no matter how long you've been in a relationship with someone.  Not having your own separate life with your own hobbies, friends, and family creates undue stress on a relationship, making you depend more on it for your sense of happiness.  No one person wants to be completely responsible for someone else's happiness (unless they have major control issues!), so letting your world revolve around your significant other (SO) spells imminent doom for your relationship.  Maintain a balanced life, with friends, family, your own hobbies, and work (or school) as well as your relationship, and this will allow you to truly appreciate the time you do spend with your SO.

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Dec 29, 2010

Would You Have Your Fiance's Ex Be In Your Wedding Party?


That's exactly what this woman did, and not only was her fiance's ex in the wedding party, she was the maid of honor!!  That's definitely unexpected and not something the majority of people (myself included) would even imagine doing.  The awkward potential is usually a little too high for most people to even picture doing this, but this woman's situation was slightly different and unique.  To read more about her story, click here.

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Dec 20, 2010

Best Last-Minute Gifts for Your Significant Other

So it's less than a week before Christmas, and you're freaking out because you still haven't gotten your girl or guy a Christmas present yet...no need to fret!  These thoughtful gift ideas will have them thinking you've been planning their gift for ages.  And the best part - there's no wrapping required!  Some of the best gifts are the ones of experience, which don't require any wrapping, or waiting for it to arrive in the mail ;)  Below, the best last-minute gifts for your significant other!

1) Wine- or food-tasting tour.  If your significant other is a foodie or wine connoisseur, this is the perfect gift.  Take your beau on a food- or wine-tasting tour in your city and indulge in the tastes the city has to offer.  There doesn't necessarily need to be a tour available during this time of the year to make this your gift - buying tickets in advance can help build the anticipation, and will give you time to plan ahead for something special.

2) Donation to their favorite cause or charity.  If your significant other has a cause or charity that they are very invested in, giving a donation in their name is the perfect Christmas gift.  Whether it's a donation to the Red Cross or the local SPCA, whatever cause or charity it is that your beau supports or believes in, a donation is a great way to show your support as well.  This is perfect for the guy or girl who already has everything they could want or enjoys giving gifts more than receiving them.

3) Tickets to a play.  Guys, if your girl always complains that you never take her anywhere nice, this is a great gift to show you've been listening and taking notes!  A play is a great experience to take in together (and a great excuse for her to get all dolled up!).  Check local listings for plays in your area.  Great plays to check out during the holidays are The Nutcracker, A Christmas Carol, and It's A Wonderful Life. Other great plays to check out throughout the year - if last minute tickets for the Christmas season are hard to find - include Wicked, Les Miserables, and Phantom of the Opera.

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Dec 12, 2010

Stay Close During Holiday Chaos

You should feel festive during the holiday season, so why the urge to drop-kick your man across the room? Cope this way.

By Stephanie Booth

Ah, the holidays. Christmas lights. Eggnog. Baked ham. Presents. Fighting like cats and dogs with your guy. Yep, 'tis the season to put a strain on couples everywhere.

"Your life pace, obligations, and social and family commitments all go into overdrive around this time of year," explains Christine Murray, Ph.D., assistant professor of family counseling at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. "And unfortunately, that added activity — even if it's all fun and festive — can create a lot of tension, frustration, and exhaustion that often hits your relationship hardest." To ensure you're not tempted to slap him under the mistletoe, we've compiled a hit list of strategies to keep the love alive throughout this wild party season and all year long.

You spend a jam-packed weekend together going from one party to the next, but come Sunday night, you feel like you haven't seen your guy at all. "That's because when you share your space with other people, you pay less attention to each other and it can be a real challenge to feel connected," says Murray. "Being in the same room isn't enough to create that intimacy you need to stay close."

Little check-ins over the course of the night can make all the difference, according to Murray. So before you enter the party, schedule a couple of moments when you will meet up throughout the evening — say, at 8:30, 9:15, and then 10 o'clock — even if it's just to say "Hey, hot stuff" or share a quick story about your night so far. It will keep you both feeling linked and attuned to each other, despite the crowds.

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Dec 5, 2010

Food for Thought: Should A Woman Be Financially Dependent On A Man?

Something that was once a norm in romantic relationships in times past, but has now become less and less of a standard for modern relationships, is a woman's complete financial dependence on a man from the beginning of a relationship.  Since as recently as the middle of the last century, having a man pay for everything - from dates to clothes to your daily living expenses - was perfectly acceptable.  Since almost the beginning of time, one of the best chances for a "good life" for a woman was to find a rich husband who would take care of her (and possibly even her family); if a woman accomplished this fete, she'd be "set for life". 

As time has passed, of course, many things have changed.  Women now basically have almost all of the same rights as men in most developed countries around the world, and standards of dating and relationships have also evolved because of that.  A woman no longer needs to depend on a man for economic survival - she's perfectly capable of earning her own living and creating her own success, often even surpassing her mate's success.

What I'm referring to doesn't apply to marriage, of course, since married couples will inevitably have shared finances and different arrangements for who is the primary breadwinner and who will stay home to raise the kids (if there are any), whether it be the man or woman.  What I'm referring to is when a woman is in a relationship with a man and becomes financially dependent on him from the get-go.  Is this wise on her part? 

From my perspective, if you're still just dating a guy and not married to him, being completely financially dependent on him is one of the worst positions you could put yourself in as a woman.  Think about it - your financial well-being depends on him (assuming you have no other source of income), so if he leaves you, you're in for a whole lotta trouble, seeing as how you two aren't married so you won't be getting any kind of spousal support (or child support assuming you two don't have kids).  You're basically taking a gamble here. 

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