Oct 30, 2010

How to Minimize the Possibility of Cheating In Your Relationship

Besides being dumped, being cheated on is probably the worst fear of anyone who's ever been in a relationship before.  Although it is true that if you're with someone who's a chronic cheater that there may be very little you can do to stop them, for the rest of the population, there may be some steps you can take to minimize the possibility of cheating in your relationship.  Read on for some tips you can take to help cheatproof your relationship.

1) Define what cheating is to you.  Believe it or not, not everyone's definition of cheating is the same.  For some, it encompasses what most people consider cheating, such as kissing or having sex with someone else.  For others, only going so far as having sex with someone else is considered cheating (some people don't consider kissing cheating, believe it or not). 

There's also that gray area called "emotional cheating", where there is no physical contact involved, but a person would spend time with another person (who's not their boyfriend or girlfriend) and have feelings for them (and have that person reciprocate those feelings).  Some people consider emotional cheating the most dangerous kind of cheating of all (since feelings aren't something you can control or change), but to me, all kinds of cheating is bad. 

Temptation will always be there - just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you're blind.  If you are in a happy relationship and are put in a compromising position where cheating could become a possibility (such as spending time alone with someone you find attractive who's also attracted to you), know when to remove yourself before something could occur.  Relationships with minimal boundaries are the ones where cheating is most likely to happen.

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Oct 28, 2010

Food for Thought: Men Who Say "All Guys Are Dogs" Are the Dogs

Let me first preface by saying that this isn't meant to be a man-hating rant, but rather, is quite the opposite; this post is meant to defend men, and to debunk a common stereotype that I've heard for as long as I can remember.  You've probably all heard the phrase, "All men are dogs," at one time or another, and - if you're a woman - may even have come to believe this at some point in time.  This stereotype, in it's most basic form, basically is saying that all men are horny, indiscriminate cheaters who'll hump anything, and will not hesitate to cheat if given the chance.  From my experience and point of view, this is a completely unfair assumption, and I will tell you why.

From what I've seen, there are usually two types of people who say and believe this, and they are:

1) Scorned women.
2) Men who are dogs themselves.

The first group, the scorned women, is pretty self-explanatory.  If a woman has been burned enough times by the same type of guy, it's not really any wonder that she'd come to believe this one day.  The second group, however, usually isn't as easy to spot for what they are, and have an underlying reason for why they'd be so quick to jump on the "All men are dogs" bandwagon. 

You see, guys who readily believe (or say) that all men are dogs are usually the dogs themselves, and will say it freely to others (especially females) for the goal of either trying to justify their own behavior, or to try to attract the woman they're telling this to. (I know! Talk about lame pick-up lines, right??)  Their justification?  "All men were born to want to have sex with multiple women.  It's something we have no control over, so you can't blame us."  If they then screw up, what better excuse to use than the lame-ass, "But I'm a man!" line??

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Oct 23, 2010

Q & A - I'm Not Sexually Attracted to My Husband Anymore

Q. Dear Alannah,

I've been married to my husband for about a year now, been together for three years before that.  Over the past year we've been together, he's gained 35 lbs., and during that time, my sexual attraction for him has slowly decreased.  Don't get me wrong, I still love him very, very much, and find him incredibly handsome still, but the passion has decreased because I don't find him sexy anymore ever since his weight gain.  With the recent weight gain, his body has changed dramatically, from moobs when his shirt is off (sorry if this is TMI, but I need to be thorough so you know where I'm coming from!) to his weight on me being difficult to handle when we are in bed.

When we have sex lately, I often feel like I'm having sex with him just because I should, not because I am in the mood or want to; it feels more like an obligation lately than something I naturally want to do.  He is also only 29 years old.  Why does this matter?  Well, it makes me think that if he looks like this at 29, then how unhealthy will he be at 50?  I'm worried about the sexual attraction, yes, but I'm even more worried about his health.
 
He has admitted that he is unhappy about his body and wants to lose weight, and we have tried all kinds of things, including going to the gym together, but in the end, he doesn't stick to it and doesn't make it a priority.  I want to help him with this so that our sex life can improve, but I don't know how.  I know that this can become a real problem in the long run for us if we don't fix it.  What can I do to help him lose weight and help improve our sex life?

Sincerely,

Dara

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Oct 21, 2010

Guy Drops the Ring During Brooklyn Bridge Marriage Proposal

By Brian Fairbanks - Trey Turner and Kelsey Kramer have two things in common (besides repeat initials): 1) They are madly in love, and 2) were involved in one of the most disastrous marriage proposals we've ever heard of.

Turner took Kramer for a stroll on the Brooklyn Bridge last week to propose. When he went for the engagement ring, it slipped from his trembling fingers and fell through a grate.

"When I dropped the ring my initial reaction was just disbelief," Turner tells Asylum. "As we first got to the bridge, I noticed the slats and thought about how the ring would slip right through the different slats. I was being so careful, I didn't understand how it could have happened."

But it happened -- every would-be groom's worst nightmare. (Well, other than "No").

Turner immediately tried to fish the ring out of the slats, but couldn't find it. He gave up and alerted city workers to his predicament while his girlfriend -- not yet fiancee -- held a hand over her mouth in a mixture of horror and excitement at the proposal itself.

Keep reading for more of our interview with Turner, who reveals how he got the ring back in the most roundabout way possible.

Giving up the ghost, Turner went on tour with his band The Icarus Account and let his mother pray that someone would find it. Magically, Doug Reese, a bridge worker for the Department of Transportation, uncovered the jewel on Friday and brought it back to Kramer's apartment, where he ended up being the one to "put a ring on it."

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Oct 18, 2010

What Would You Do If You Found Out Your Crush May Have Sexually Assaulted Someone?


That's the question this girl was faced with after Googling her crush and finding out he was charged with rape a few years before.  It was at a party with a girl he knew, and the article she found described "bite marks," "bruises," and "restraints".  After talking to him and hearing the whole story from his point of view (he said he didn't do it), the two never talked again.  To read more, click here.

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Oct 13, 2010

Halloween Date Ideas

Halloween is the perfect time of year for first dates, and romantic dates in general!  From the beautiful Fall weather to the sense of fun and mystery in the air, (not to mention the many sexy, scandalous Halloween get-ups that are bound to be seen around town that night!) Halloween is the perfect time to take your date out - or stay in - and enjoy the scary and scandalous festivities together!  Below, some date ideas that will help set the mood for Halloween!

1) Masquerade ball or party.  If there's anything a girl loves, it's a masquerade ball.  Think masked strangers, tight corsets, sexy costumes, and flowing champagne...this is Halloween for grown-ups, done up in style!  Co-host a masquerade party with your beau or with friends, and keep it simple - tell guests about the dress code (masks required), and have some spares at the front door just in case. 

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Oct 11, 2010

Q & A - My Girlfriend Is Acting Distant

Q. Dear Alannah,

So my girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year now, and lately things have changed for us, seemingly for the worst.  She used to call and text me every night, but lately, she's stopped responding to my texts or picking up on many of my calls.  She also has broken plans twice now, and both times she said it was because she's tired from work and school, but she STILL had time to see her girlfriends last weekend.

I feel like things are coming to an end for us, but I want to see if there's still a way to salvage the relationship.  What should I do?  Should I wait until she comes back around, or talk to her and ask her what's going on??

Sincerely,

Tired of Waiting

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Oct 5, 2010

Did You Know Money Isn't the Culprit in Most Divorces?


We've all heard the saying before that money is the #1 cause of divorce -- in some cases, it may be, but as it turns out, the information that that's based on is outdated and based on research that's over a half century old.  According to this article, money actually typically only ranks no higher than fourth or fifth as a cause of divorce in real cases, with lack of emotional support, incompatibility, abuse and/or sexual problems typically ranking higher.

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Oct 2, 2010

Q & A - So My Friend and I Hooked Up -- What Should I Do Now?

Q. Dear Alannah,

I have a guy friend who I've had a romantic past with before who I hooked up with recently.  We have dated on and off for the past several years, and the other night, after years of this "stop and start" romantic history, we finally hooked up.  It wasn't planned, and it just happened - we were just hanging out at his place the other night, one thing led to another, and before you know it, we ended up in bed. 

Now, I'm not sure where we stand.  I do have feelings for him, but we haven't talked yet since it happened, and it's been two days.  I want to talk to him about it, but should I wait until he calls, or call him?  Should we talk in person or on the phone?  Shouldn't he have called me by now?  What should I do??

Sincerely,

Mandy

A. Dear Mandy,

There may be a number of reasons why your friend hasn't called yet, but sitting there and imagining all of the different scenarios won't help any.  What you should do is go ahead and call him up, ask if he wants to hang out, and then discuss it with him then.

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