Apr 29, 2010

Q & A - Is She Interested, or Not?

Q. Dear Alannah,

I wanted to know if it was common for a girl to talk to a guy every day on the phone if she's not interested in him (as anything more than just a friend).  There's this girl I'm interested in who I've been hanging out with, and we talk on the phone every night for at least half an hour; we talk about anything and everything.  Sometimes she'll call me, and other times I'll call her.  So I was wondering, would a girl call a guy every day if she only saw him as just a friend and nothing more?

Sincerely,

Brandon

A. Dear Brandon,

Yes, it is possible for a girl to talk to a guy on the phone every day when she sees him as just a friend.  If you want to get out of potential Friend Zone territory with her, this is what you'll need to do:

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Apr 26, 2010

Moves That Will Get A Guy Slapped

1) Grabbing a girl's boobs, ass, or any other private parts (when she hasn't give you permission).

2) Trying to force a girl to kiss you.

3) Trying to force a girl to do anything.

4) Hitting on your girlfriend's sister.

5) Hitting on your girlfriend's mother.

6) Kissing and telling.

7) Hitting and running.

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Apr 23, 2010

Q & A - Is It Just Sex?

Q. Dear Alannah,

I have been friends with this guy for about a year.  Last month, we ended up in bed with each other.  We'd always been attracted to each other, but I never thought anything would come of it, because I thought he just saw me as a friend.  Then, after having not seen each other for awhile (he lives in a different town), we went from talking to cuddling to sex.  I'd grown to like him as more than just a friend, but I was trying to figure out if he had feelings for me, as well. 

Ever since we had sex, things haven't changed all that much between us.  There hasn't been any awkwardness, and we've been flirting since then.  However, he has asked me a few times if I had fun with him, and told me that he never really hooks up with or has sex with someone he's not dating.  I told him I'm the same way, and asked him why he thinks we ended up in bed together, and he told me he didn't know.  He's a pretty honest person, so I could easily tell that he was lying.  Do you think he has actual feelings for me, and if so, should I come clean with him, or wait for him to first?

Sincerely,

Susan

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Apr 21, 2010

Q & A - Is She Just Playing Games?

Q. Dear Alannah,

There's this girl from school I like, and a few months ago, I decided to make a move and asked her out on a date.  I was more awkward and not very confident then, though, and made my move a little too late, because she had apparently just met someone else, so she told me no.

When she turned me down, it upset me, and I spent some time feeling sorry for myself.  I tried to move on and forget her, but I couldn't.  Then I thought, "F-ck it!"  Moping is for losers, I'll just use her to improve my confidence, especially around other girls.  I had nothing to lose, so I changed my approach.  Back then, I'd always be worried about doing something that would upset her, and I'd try to make a really good impression all the time - I wasn't being myself.  But now, I don't give a damn, I just act like myself and say what I feel.  I'm a nice guy, but I can be a bit cocky and sarcastic sometimes (as well as geeky and stubborn!).  But I didn't care anymore if she saw those sides of me.

I changed my approach, and just focused on becoming more confident, and it worked.  We started talking more than we ever did before.  Sure, there's still some awkwardness sometimes, but it's ten times better than before, and it's slowly getting better every day.  She now seems to be making more of an effort to talk to me.  I'm rarely the first one to text her, for instance, and sometimes she'll text me some random question, like she's bored or something.  When I'm near her, she's with her friend bad-mouthing that guy she used to talk to; she's always doing it when I'm near, like she wants me to hear or something. 

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Apr 17, 2010

Style Files: April '10 Women

With Spring in full swing, the adventurous new styles this season will have heads turning and fashionistas swooning. Read on for the latest, hottest trends burning up designer runways this season!

1) Future warrior. A fierce trend meant to be noticed, the future warrior is a mix of the military, tribal, and futuristic trends all at once, with dresses, tops, suits, shoes and more with a primal, futuristic edge that screams confidence and sex appeal! Look for pieces with the following defining elements:

- Detailing inspired by chain-mail
- Tunics, especially leather ones
- Metal plating
- Tribal-inspired motifs

Pair this tough, warrior-inspired look with feminine pieces - such as a soft, flowy top with a studded belt, studded or metallic detailing on a soft and feminine dress - for a great, contrasting look that mixes sweet and sexy with tough and chic.



Rodarte Spring/Summer 2010

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Apr 14, 2010

Q & A - Does He Still Have Feelings For Me?

A. Dear Alannah,

I am totally confused at the moment and needed some advice.  So, my ex and I recently broken up about two months ago...he broke up with me.  He told me that he had his lost feelings for me, and suggested that we be friends instead.  From my past experience, I had learned to hold the pain inside (during a break-up), and agreed to the break-up and to be friends instead, but as soon he hung up ,I cried.  I cried on my own, and didn't show him my feelings or sadness after our break-up.

I've been trying to move on with my life, so I try to distract myself by working to bring my life back on track (hanging out with my girls, focusing on college, etc.), but I still miss him.  I mostly only think of him when I have spare time, which is when I'm by myself, like right before falling asleep at night.  I always end up dreaming about him.

We still keep in touch, but don't talk as often.  There was 2 weeks where we didn't talk to each other, and it felt strange, and got kind of awkward, because I'm not used to not talking to him, and because we are also in the same choir.  So, I tried to break the ice by texting him to say good luck on his first day of college, and to say goodnight.  He texted back right away, and since then, our friendship has been on and off...one moment, he wants to talk to me, and the next, he doesn't.  Mutual friends have told me he still has feelings for me, but I'm not sure.  I know I should move on, but I know I'm still lingering on him.

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Apr 12, 2010

Things to Say That Will Send Him Running

1) "I'm searching for my future baby daddy, and I think I may have found him."

2) Tell him about your collection of designer bags (most of which were gifts from ex-boyfriends), and the price of your cheapest one, a $5,000 vintage Louis Vuitton bag.

3) "Sorry for the rapid mood swings...I forgot to take one of my meds today...my therapist says I need to take all 12 each day, or else I'll really be in trouble!"

4) Tell him about your stuffed animal collection, the names of each one, and how each has its own unique personality.

5) "Sex is ONLY for procreating...anyone who enjoys it is going to hell!!!"

6) "Before we get too comfortable, you'll first need to know the names of my best friends, Burberry, Prada, and Chanel...get acquainted, because they should be visiting every Christmas, Valentine's, and birthday!"

7) "That Accord is 'cute', but it's your starter car, right?"

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Apr 10, 2010

Articles You Should Check Out

Have a confession to make to your significant other?  Made a mistake?  How to best approach them about it and make a proper apology:

Coming Clean the Right Way

Ladies, is your man not very vocal?  Want to know how he feels? 

The Silent Ways He Says "I Love You"

Is your relationship in a rut?  Here, 5 romantic gestures that will help keep the flame burning:

Top 5 Romantic Gestures

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Apr 8, 2010

Q & A - Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

A. Dear Alannah,

So, I've been seeing this guy for the past 7 months.  He's 23, lives with 3 male roommates, and is a couple of years younger than me.  This is going to be a long, but I wanted to give you all the details.  There was a good connection between us, and things were going great for the first 3 months. The sex was great, and happened often.  He was charming and very talkative.  Then one day, he brought up the topic of where the relationship was headed.  We agreed it wouldn't be too serious; he never called me his girlfriend, just "the girl he was seeing."  The thing is, we only saw each other on weekends because of the distance.

Then after Christmas, he started acting weird, different, and a bit self-centered around me.  He then brought up the fact that this "thing" we had was getting to the point of becoming serious, and that he wanted to take some time to "take a step back."  He said he wasn't sure what he wanted, but that he still wanted to see me, just as friends.  We then had a long, upsetting talk (he was sad), and since then, I've been the one contacting him and initiating the times we get together (he doesn't at all). For the past 3 months, he hasn't called or wanted to talk much.  Whenever I ask him to do something, he agrees to meet me, although it usually just ends with sex, even though it might be once a month.  When I was last at his place, I asked him why he still has my toothbrush at his place, and he said for when I come to stay over.  (What does that mean?)

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Apr 5, 2010

Should You Tweet After a First Date? Dating Rules In the Digital Age

In this day and age, we are blessed to have so many forms of communication and ways in which to keep in touch with others...phone, email, chat, video chat, social networking sites, texting, even, gulp, regular snail mail (but, who still uses that, anyway??).  Of course, this also presents a minor problem when you first start dating someone...what's an appropriate way to contact the other person, and what's not?  What's considered proper "communications etiquette" in the beginning of a courtship when, it seems, there are over a dozen different ways to contact someone?

Inspired by a scene from the movie, He's Just Not That Into You ("Myspace is the new booty call!"), below is a list of guidelines to follow when communicating with that new someone in your life!

1) After a first date, call or text to say you had a good time (calling definitely works), but, don't "Tweet" or (Facebook) "wall comment" them...those are public and can be viewed by everyone in your network, making it much less personal.  It also comes across as kinda lazy, and gives the message that you may not be that interested.  Those methods of communication are fine for follow-ups after friendly dates or get-togethers with friends, but for romantic dates, use a more personal method of communication to follow up with the other person.

2) Try to make follow-up dates (after the first date) over the phone. When you can't see someone face-to-face, the phone (or video-chatting) is the next best thing, because it's more personal and intimate. Sure, you could always text someone about a follow-up date, but isn't that something you'd do casually, with friends?  At the beginning of a courtship, you want to make sure the other person knows that you're interested, and being lax when communicating after those first few dates can give off the wrong impression.

After you've been dating the person for awhile, you can relax on this rule somewhat (about the third or fourth date in at least).

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Apr 1, 2010

Q & A - Mixed Signals

Q. Dear Alannah,

I need your advice on a guy.  So recently, I started liking a guy I've seen a couple of times around campus.  I realized he didn't seem like much of a people person, because he normally just sticks to his own group of friends.  A girl friend of mine who I'd asked for advice about him (who also knows him) told me a few things about him...I found out he's extremely shy, so she told me I would have to make the first move if I was interested.

The thing is, I had a feeling he was also interested in me, too, by the way he looks at me.  (I've caught him looking at me in a way that made it seem like he'd noticed me, as well.)  So, I made the first move - I saw him in the computer lab at school one day, and immediately made my way over to talk to him. We spent 2 hours talking and getting to know each other, talking about the things we were interested in.  The next day at school, we saw each other.  I thought he'd come over and say hi and give me a hug or something; instead, he just waved, said bye, and went on his way.  I wondered if maybe he was busy, but then the same thing kept happening over and over.

Then the other day, we hung out again at school with his friends, and he fell asleep against me after we'd been hanging out for awhile.  He basically acted so cool and gentle with me.  The next day when I saw him, though, it was back to the same thing, a blow-off - he waved, said hi and bye, and then was on his way. There was a girl I know who was with him this time.  I also know that she doesn't like me.  I then realized that every time he's with this girl, he acts different.  Just a wave and that's it, when I expect a more friendly greeting, like at least a smile or a hug.  I asked a friend of mine, and apparently, he's close friends with that girl, like brother and sister...my friend said she's very protective of him, and that he used to have a crush on her. 

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