Q & A - Does My Friend Like Me?

Q. Dear Alannah,

So, I have a crush on a friend of mine named Robert - I like him a lot.  He has a brother named David who I'm also close friends with and who I think had a crush on me before, but I don't see him in that way, and I'm sure he knows it. 

Anyways, we all hang out with the same group of friends, and Robert and I are pretty close - I know his whole family.  He acts like he likes me, especially when our friends aren't around (we have a class together).  He has told other people that he just sees me as a friend, though, and that he doesn't feel the same way that I do.  Others have caught on to how he acts towards me, and have asked him if he likes me; when they do, I've heard he gets defensive and kind of angry.

I want to say it again - I really feel that he does seem to have feelings for me, and I feel like we have a real connection that I don't want to believe is just my imagination.

So, I have 2 questions here:

1. Should I just ask him myself if he has feelings for me, or could that ruin our friendship?

2. Could the reason why he's holding back with me be because he knows his brother used to like me (and is the reason why he tells everyone he just sees me as a friend)?

Sincerely,

Carol

A. Dear Carol,
 
It sounds like your friend does like you, but is afraid to admit his feelings.  (Getting defensive when friends bring you up shows there are feelings on his part - otherwise, he'd just brush it off.)  You're right that he could be holding his feelings back because of his brother, in which case, getting him to change his mind may be difficult; there may not be much you can do about his choice, but if this has been bothering you for awhile, coming clean about your feelings may be the best thing, if anything, just to help you get closure and move on.
 
Be prepared that letting him know how you feel could be awkward if he doesn't respond how you're hoping, but it sounds like your friendship is strong enough to where this won't ruin it, even if he doesn't feel the same way. 

Let him know how you feel; whether or not he admits to feeling the same way, don't bring up his brother (or ask if he's the reason why he's holding back) - it'll only make things awkward.  If he admits to feeling the same way you do, wonderful!  If he doesn't, don't push the topic, and just know that you did your part and were true with your feelings, and now you can move on. 

Good luck!

Alannah