Q & A - How Do I Tell Her I Love Her?

Q. Dear Alannah,

I've been dating my girlfriend for over 6 months now, and I feel like I'm really starting to fall in love with her. I haven't told her yet, though, because I think she still thinks about her ex from time to time. I want to tell her how I feel (that I love her), but don't know if I should yet. Is it too soon, and could I scare her off? What do you think I should do?

Sincerely,

Dan

A. Dear Dan,

Is your main concern here whether or not your girlfriend still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend, that she won't say "I love you" back if you say it, or both? You can never really predict how someone will react once you tell them the "L" word, but that's no reason to stop you from saying it. You only live once, so, (at the risk of sounding like a hopeless romantic) why not take the chance to tell someone while you still can?

If you're afraid that she'll feel "pressured" to say it back when she's not ready yet, what you can do is tell her when you two are alone, and don't put the expectation out there for her to say it back yet. If she doesn't, don't freak out, but be happy to know that she knows how you feel. Then, don't say it again (until she's ready to say it back to you). As your relationship progresses and you two grow closer, she'll say it when she is ready. Since you mentioned that you two have been dating for just awhile and that you think she may still have feelings for her ex, this lets her know how you feel without making her feel pressured to be at the same place you are in the relationship just yet. Once she is ready, she will say it back to you.

Alannah