Small Dick Syndrome (SDS) is something I have mentioned several times before here, but until now, I've never discussed the cause - or reason - why it exists. As mentioned before, SDS is a behavioral/personality disorder affecting many Asian males in America today...it does not describe a guy's actual physical endowment. (Click here for a refresher on the symptoms.)
To summarize, guys with Small Dick Syndrome are virtually incapable of pursuing a woman they have a romantic interest in, are deathly afraid of opening up emotionally, rely on mind games to get what they want, and often self-sabotage relationships in order to protect their fragile egos. Today, I'll be discussing the cause of SDS and why many otherwise very dateworthy, eligible males seem to be affected by this disorder.
From my experience, SDS can mainly be found in Asian men who grew up in America. This is an important point that needs to be made - that it exists mainly in 2nd generation Asian Americans (2nd AA's) who were born and grew up here, and 1.5ers, who were brought over during childhood before adolescence, not ones who grew up overseas and came here at a later age (otherwise known as FOB's, for Fresh Off the Boat) - and the reason why will be explained later.
(Again, Small Dick Syndrome is named so because of the mindsets of those affected, and could be used to describe men of any ethnicity, not just Asian men. For the purposes and intent of this site, though, I'll describe it mainly as it pertains to Asian men.)
The main reasons why SDS exists are:
2) How Asian males have been portrayed in the media and Western society.
1) Racism. The effects of racism can run deep, and those subject to it are affected in different ways; although it's currently less prevalent in our society, it does still exist, and any young, ethnic adult growing up in America within the past several decades has seen our fair share. Growing up facing social isolation, stereotypes, and prejudice can have a negative effect on anyone, but when the stereotypes also have an emasculating tone to them, the effect can be twofold on males of that group.
[Side Note: You're probably wondering why encountering racism doesn't have a similar effect on Asian females...after all, we faced the same stereotypes, ignorance, and prejudice that our male counterparts did, right? Although that may be true, when it comes to Asian female sexuality, we are not "desexualized" in the media and Western society the way that Asian men are, and, if anything, are "hypersexualized."
The negative and/or unrealistic sexual stereotypes associated with Asian women tend to swing the other way on the pendulum, and at it’s extreme, create an unrealistic portrayal of a subservient, exotic, eager-to-please, sexual "minx" who uses her sexuality to seduce white or non-Asian men. (Yellow fever, anyone??) Although not exactly the most flattering picture, it doesn't "detract" from an Asian woman’s allure, either.]
Besides just simple ignorance and racism, however, the biggest factor that may be the root cause of SDS would be the negative portrayal of Asian men in the media and society.
2) How Asian males have been portrayed in the media and Western society. If you've grown up in America within the past few decades and have access to a television, you've no doubt been exposed to the portrayals of Asian men in the media, and they are, more often than not, less than flattering. From the nerdy, awkward Asian guy who has no dating game, to the goofy sidekick constantly getting shot down by hot chicks, roles for Asian men in Hollywood are always limited, stereotypical, unflattering, and oftentimes, offensive.
I could go on about the different Asian stereotypes portrayed in the media, but I won't do that here. Instead, I will mention the most important, negative stereotypes that are the basis for why SDS exists:
a) The effeminacy of Asian men in the media.
b) Portrayals of Asian men as meek or emasculated.
c) Portrayals showing Asian men as sexually impotent and/or undesirable.
Portrayals of Asian men in the movies, on television, and in the media have never shown them as sexually viral or desirable. Nothing could be further from the truth! Sure, positive stereotypes - such as being studious, hardworking, and conscientious - do exist, but they're always one-dimensional and almost never show the Asian male as a multi-dimensional character, or in a sexually desirable light.
Is it any wonder, then, that a large number of Asian males raised in America could be affected by these portrayals and stereotypes, and would internalize and act on them in a negative, self-limiting way? (For a great article discussing the stereotypes of Asian men portrayed in the media and the effects they can have on young Asian American boys, click here.)
As mentioned in my post on Small Dick Syndrome, this doesn't affect all Asian guys. Many aren't affected, but enough are to give it a name. As I also mentioned, I've noticed that, curiously enough, Fobby Asians seem mostly unaffected by SDS. I believe it's because of decreased exposure to American media as compared to 2nd generation AA's and 1.5ers, as well as not being exposed to racism all through childhood.
So, how do racism and exposure to negative media stereotypes tie in to SDS? It ties in absolutely; besides the obvious consequences being exposed to racism can have on any person's self-image or self-esteem (negatively impacting self-confidence, creating repressed feelings of anger, feelings of apathy about not being able to change the status quo, etc.), negative stereotypes that emasculate the Asian male and downplay - or outright deny - his sexuality can only further negatively affect a guy's self-image and self-esteem...if a guy buys in to these stereotypes and beliefs at an early age and internalizes them, how would he be able to open up later in life and have real, mature, emotionally satisfying, romantic relationships in adulthood?
The emotional avoidance, mind games, emotional withdrawal, oftentimes insensitivity or selfishness, and extremely guarded behavior characteristic of guys with Small Dick Syndrome all make perfect sense when examined against the backdrop of Asian portrayals and stereotypes perpetuated in Western society.
One could say that someone who has SDS is perfectly justified to behave the way that they do, that the mind games, emotional avoidance, fear of intimacy, and purposeful or unintentional hurt inflicted on romantic interests and significant others is understandable, considering the stereotypes they've faced, right? Wrong. Actually, the complete opposite is true...anyone who carries a "chip" on their shoulder as an "act of rebellion" against society (whether consciously or unconsciously) only does a disservice to themselves and those they care about, and in the end, they are the ones who lose out, not those who create or perpetuate those stereotypes.
So, can a guy overcome SDS? Absolutely. I don't purport to knowing a "magic cure-all" for deep-seated issues regarding racism and/or internalized anger, but I do know that when it comes to dating, changing your thought patterns and habits are the first steps towards making a significant change, and with practice, any person can make a significant difference in their life!
In my next post, for those who think they may have SDS, I'll describe ways to overcome this emotional barricade so you can start enjoying your most satisfying, fulfilling dating life possible!
[Disclaimer: This article is based on observation, personal opinion, experience, the shared experiences of others, and common sense, and does not have basis in any independent, scientific studies, nor should it be construed as such.]
- Small Dick Syndrome - Overcoming It
- Small Dick Syndrome
- How to To Tell if Your Guy Has Small Dick Syndrome
- A Female's Guide to Dealing with Small Dick Syndrome Part I
- A Female's Guide to Dealing With Small Dick Syndrome Part II