Today's article is a continuation of my 3 part post for the ladies on how to increase your attraction level and become irresistible to men.
4) Take everything a guy says with a grain of salt. Take everything he says at face value, and don't over-analyze or look for "hidden" meanings. A mistake that almost every female has made at one point or another (myself included) is to over-analyze every little thing a guy does to try to "read" his mind. In reality, this is a colossal waste of time. It also gives him too much power. Men aren't as complicated as we think (although many would like for you to think they are). Unless the guy has SDS, most are pretty straightforward with what they want.
If not, it'll be pretty clear through his actions. If he wants to talk or get to know you better, he will call you. If he likes you enough, he will ask you out. If he finds you attractive, he will eventually make a move during your date.
Why waste your time pining over a guy who doesn't know what he wants, when there are so many more out there who do (and aren't afraid to go after it)? However, if you sincerely feel a guy you are interested in also feels the same way, but just needs a little encouragement, there are ways to "nudge" him in the right direction (which would be towards asking you out!).
5) Friendly flirtation. A way for you to "get" a guy you have the hots for - whom you are pretty sure feels the same - to ask you out is to be a "friendly flirt". This is the "safe" way to show a guy you're interested, without full-on mauling him or otherwise throwing yourself all over him. (I call it the "safe" way because, if it turns out he wasn't interested and was just playing games or is naturally flirty, you can save face by acting as if you were just being "friendly," not coming on to him...how would anyone know? ;))
Walk the line between being friendly and flirty when you interact with a guy you like. It'll give him hints that you are interested, but he won't know for sure until he makes a move. If he is interested and worth your time, he will eventually make a move, if only for the sake of knowing where your interest truly lies.
6) Don't gossip about other females - or anyone, for that matter - around him. Sure, everyone (ok, maybe mostly females) loves a good gossip session every now and then, but men, for the most part, don't like hearing it. Yes, I know what you're thinking - they do it, too. It's true, men do gossip, but overall, they do it less than women, and usually only when it relates to them somehow (i.e. the girl they like just broke up with her boyfriend, or an employee at work was fired, and the position they've been eyeing for forever just opened up).
Gossiping around him gives him the impression that you're negative and/or catty, whether or not the subject of your gossip deserves it! The majority of guys dislike it, and view all gossip as just that - gossip. If you need to vent or want to dish about something, it's best to save it for girlfriends.
7) Hold off on having sex as long as possible. Once you've reeled him in and the two of you are dating, I recommend holding off on sex for as long as possible (until you two are mutually exclusive). This is, of course, if you are looking for something long-term...if you are looking for just a fling or something casual, this rule won't apply. But for anyone looking for something long-term or serious, holding off on the sexual part of a relationship has a couple of benefits.
The first one is that you'll know he is also in it for the long-term, and not just looking for a fling (or worse yet, a "hit-and-run"!). Guys who are only looking to get laid usually won't stick around for very long and try to work to make it happen (they've got more girls to see, more tail to chase!). Waiting basically helps to weed out the players. The second is, waiting makes it all the better once you finally get there, and (at the risk of sounding cheesy) makes it more special. Rushing into things takes away some of the thrill and anticipation of waiting.
Using these tips will help maximize your attraction potential with men, inside and out. Good luck, and feel free to drop me a line if you have any questions! ;)
- How to Be Irresistible to Men Part I
- How to Be Irresistible to Men Part II