Self-improvement is an ongoing process; when looking for ways to attract members of the opposite sex, many things can be done to instantly improve your chances. This post will be part of a 3 part post for the guys on how to improve your overall attraction level with women. The first part will be external. Obviously, it is not the most important, but it is what women notice first. Say what you want, but when it comes to dating, you must first be able to catch the eye of the other person before you can woo them with your incredible charm and personality.
A few ways you can instantly improve your external appearance are to:
1) Stand tall. You instantly convey confidence and improve your appearance just by changing your posture. Not slouching and standing tall instantly makes anyone look better, male or female. Slouching gives the appearance of laziness and/or low-self confidence, so just by standing with better posture, the opposite happens.
2) Improve your style. Many women appreciate a man with a sense of style. I'm not saying you need to turn in to a full blown metrosexual in order to attract a woman; just updating your wardrobe with a few key trends will do. Many straight men feel that being concerned or caught up with their appearance is very "gay" or makes them seem "feminine." On the contrary - if you hope to be able to attract women, showing that you have taste and a sense of style greatly improves your chances; the key to not looking like you "bat for the other team" is knowing how to create balance, and not overdoing it on trends by incorporating just one or two of them into your outfit.
Being a guy, you have a great fashion advantage because you can easily go shopping about two times a year and still be on-trend with most current fashions (since men's fashions rarely change, whereas women's fashion changes almost monthly). You could start by adding in a few current pieces, such as a blazer over your regular weekend "going out" attire of a button-front shirt and jeans. It instantly gives your look polish and a modern update, without trying too hard. The "hoodie under blazer" look is also a current style that is trendy, and yet still masculine-looking. Since it is now summertime though, you may not want to layer on too many clothes when going out.
A great way to instantly update your wardrobe is to add some color. Look for seasonal colors that are currently on-trend; for summer '09, look for yellow, cobalt blue, light pink, mint green, or orange shirts to give your wardrobe an instant update (for an even trendier look, a blazer jacket in one of the above colors, such as orange or blue, would make a great style statement). Another currently popular trend is striped, button-front shirts with a design or print on the left or right front side of the shirt, as well as on the back. Other current trends for men include:
- vests worn over a solid colored, button-front shirt with jeans
- sneakers worn with suits (this has been a trend for awhile, but is still popular)
- men's suits in an iridescent fabric, to be worn on dressier occasions (just make sure the fabrics are in muted colors such as black, navy, or gray; you want to look trendy, not make women doubt your sexuality)
- skinny ties, or ties in bright colors or prints, such as paisley
For more great style tips, visit http://men.style.com/.
3) Smile. Smiling sends the message that you are friendly and/or in a good mood. It also shows you're probably having a good time, and makes you appear non-threatening and approachable, all pluses when trying to meet new women.
4) Eliminate nervous gestures. Nervous "ticks" such as shaking your leg, drumming your fingers, tapping your feet, fidgety hand gestures, etc. send the message that you are nervous. When first approaching a woman, it is especially important to appear confident, even if inside you feel like your stomach is doing somersaults. The more at ease you appear to be, the better.
5) Work out. You didn't think I'd leave this one out, did you? Sure, working out doesn't bring about instant change, but it does give you an instant boost in your energy level, which manifests in the way you feel, and consequently, your behavior and confidence level (as well as helping with the sex drive). For a guy who is of average looks, who is about a 5 or 6 on the looks scale, taking care of your body can easily push that number up one or two digits on a scale of 1-10. I have known many a guy who either I or my girlfriends had lamented, "He has a great face, but he's too skinny...if he just worked out, he could look so hot!" You don't have to turn in to a gym rat either in order to attract a woman; just making a conscious effort to work out a few times a week and to change your diet to cut out junk food and to eat regular meals can make a dramatic change.
In my next post, I'll discuss how to make instant changes to your way of thinking and behaving that will help create lasting change and help to attract women and improve your dating chances in the long run!
- How to Instantly Improve Your Image & Attraction Level With Women Part II
- How to Instantly Improve Your Image & Attraction Level With Women Part III